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Kyle Marchand

~ Changing lives with creative! Saving the World later!

Kyle Marchand

Tag Archives: Men who have sex with men

Another Federal Judge Strikes Down DOMA!!

06 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by Kyle Marchand in Gays Please, Kyle Marchand, KyLife..., The Writing on the Wall, What What in the Social

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Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group, Breaking News, Constitution, Defense of Marriage Act, DOMA, Gay, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Igor Volsky, John Boehner, Kyle Marchand, LGBT, Marriage, Men who have sex with men, New York, News, Paul Clement, Same-sex marriage, Supreme Court, United States, United States Constitution, USA

BREAKING: Another Federal Judge Strikes Down DOMA

By Igor Volsky on Jun 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

   Edie Windsor

Another federal judge has struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), finding the law unconstitutional. The victory comes in the case of Edie Windsor, who was seeking a refund of the federal estate tax paid by the estate of her late wife. From the ruling:

“The Court declares that section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional as applied to the Plaintiff. Plaintiff is awarded judgment in the amount of $353,053.00, plus interest and costs allowed by law.”

It’s another loss for Paul Clement and House Speaker John Boehner’s (R-OH) Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group of the House of Representatives (“BLAG”), who had claimed that her homosexuality was a “choice.”

Windsor’s attorneys had argued that “DOMA violates the Equal Protection principles of the U.S. Constitution because it recognizes existing marriages of heterosexual couples, but not of same-sex couples, despite the fact that New York State treats all marriages the same.”

More from the ruling: “It does not follow from the exclusion of one group from federal benefits (same-sex married persons) that another group of people (opposite-sex married couples) will be incentivized to take any action, whether that is marriage or procreations.”

Story via thinkprogress.org

SO ARE YOU A TOP OR A BOTTOM?

07 Monday May 2012

Posted by Kyle Marchand in Gays Please, Guys Please, Kyle Marchand Copywriting, KyLife..., The Writing on the Wall, What What in the Social

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

America, Apps, Bedroom, Bi, Bi-Sexual, Bottom, Butt, Date, Dating, Fem, Feminine, Gay, Gay Sex, Grindr, Guys, Homo, Kyle Marchand, Kyle Marchand Copywriting, LA, Language, LGBT, Los Angeles, Man, Masc, Masculine, men, Men who have sex with men, Relationships, Roles, SEX, Sexual, Social, Straight, Terminology, Terms, Top, Top and Bottom, Top or Bottom, Vers, Versatile

So Are You A Top or Bottom | Kyle Marchand

If you have ever been around a group of gay men or yourself are a gay/bi-sexual man you’ve probably read, heard, or uttered the phrase “Top or Bottom”. Over the past several decades gay sex and the language pertaining to it has become much more than what its language pertains to. The language of gay sex has in of itself become the fabric of the identity of many gay men. Sex for many gay men is not just sex; it’s a way of life and the language within gay sex, is today very much a part of the social norm of the community. As the LGBT community has been able to rise up against oppressive views and political stereotypes, they still today seem to lump their own population into identifying groups.

Need a little education on what a Top or Bottom is? Basically the Top is the man penetrating the booty the Bottom is the man receiving the beautiful penis. “Versatile” means he loves to do both. Lets not get into the variables within these words because thats another article. So Top and Bottom; if you think those words mean one man plays the role of the “man” and the other the “woman” in the relationship, you are so absolutely wrong! Gay men are “Men” and you’d be surprised by the type of men who are Tops and Bottoms.

Many gay men, society would consider to be effeminate men, are in fact Tops and that notion can be contradictory in application to Bottoms. Many men who walk, talk and act like the biggest bad-asses are in fact super-nelly-bottoms in the sack. Does that mean that one man is more masculine than the other? Nope, not at all! So the question “are you a top or bottom” can actually become a very sensitive subject for many men. Because they feel like the word “Bottom” allocates the de-masculinization of the “MAN”. In fact Bottoms are more tough, more in touch with who they are and go though a hell of a lot more work to have good sex! They are also the ones who run the most risk in contracting STDs. Bottoms are tough ass men! No pun intended.

With all that said man gay men wear the word “Top” or the word “Bottom” as a badge of honor. Bottoms and Tops are anything but two categories though it is a melting pot of gayness. Let’s be honest most of the time the Top or Bottom question is used with the intent to hook up for “right now”, “this weekend” or whenever, but I’ve found that many men ask this casually in conversation, in public, when no immediate intent to have sex is present.

I recently went on a date with a very sweet handsome man. He stated to me on our drive through the Malibu Hills, that in the gay community of Los Angeles the words Top and Bottom are used in conversation far more than in any other city in America. He also told to me, that in earlier years, conversations gay men had with one another had far less to do with the fact if they were a Top or a Bottom. I asked him, “do you think gay men in Los Angeles are really identified by those words?” His response, “I absolutely believe so!” I asked, “is that a bad thing?” He said, “not all the time but it can be.” And I agree with him. I’ll be honest many gay men will ask you if you are a “Top or a Bottom” before even asking your name. That question has allowed this quick process of being able cut to the chase of sexual roles and the answer to the question can open the door to more conversation or can completely end it.

There is a GOOD and BAD to this notion both when asked and when not asked.

-The GOOD when asked;
You already know what you both somewhat like in bed. You can go on a few dates, get to know a person, finally get to the bed and see if the sparks fly.

-The BAD when asked;
You both are Bottoms and say “awe what a shame you’re so cute” this can close conversation and both miss out on the opportunity to actually make a new connection. The sexual appetite overshadows the ability to learn of the potential the man, in front of you or on the other end of the screen/Grindr app, can bring to your life.

-The GOOD when not asked;
You actually get to know something about the person. For instance, his name! LOL. What he does for a living. What he does for fun. What if this is the business partner you dreamt was out there to begin your new start-up with? Or your new Friday night bestie to go to a Drag Queen Karaoke with?

-The BAD of not asking;
You start off with similar interests go on a few dates only to discover that you both do not like to take it in the booty. And let’s be honest many gay relationships do not work out because of that reason. Sex is important to men and for gay men it’s not just important its Muy-Importanté!

I love my sexual role and I do identify a part of myself in conversation on plenty of occasions with the notion. But I in no way let that be the lead-in or  starter with regard to my social or sexual conversations and connections.

So the long and short of this is; While many gay men love their gayness, love to identify with their Topness or Bottomness, there still is this stigma of what those roles are and what kind of man that man is. By self-identifying to those words immediately, many gay men are marginalizing themselves to its stigma. Do they knowingly accept it? Some do, but many don’t and get upset when someone sees them as just another Bottom or just another Top. And I say to that; You can’t get upset when that’s what you lead with! Are you a Bottom? Are you a Top? Are you a Masculine Man? Are you a Feminine Man? Are you a Really-Really Gay Man? No I’m a person…get to know me!

So Are You A Top or Bottom | Kyle Marchand 

It Was An Easter Full of Fashion with Eggs Stuffed for Bunny Boy Tail!

29 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by Kyle Marchand in Concerts, Clubs, Galleries & Events, Fashion, Gays Please, Guys Please, Kyle Marchand Copywriting, Kyle Marchand Creative, KyLife..., Lovers, Brothers & Boos, The Writing on the Wall, What What in the Social

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Advocacy, AIDS Healthcare Foundation, Awareness, Community, FashionEastah, Gay, Gay LA, Health, HIV, Hollywood, Impulse, Impulse Group, Impulse Presents, Kyle Marchand, Kyle Marchand Copywriting, Kyle Marchand Creative, LGBT, Los Angeles, Men who have sex with men, safesex, SEX, Statics, West Hollywood

IMPULSE PRESENTS: FASHIONEASTAH

SAFER SEX is always in style! Impulse Group aka “Impulse” put together yet another successful event bringing HIV awareness and safer sex tools to the community right in their own backyard.

Spring is upon us and it couldn’t be more apparent than with Impulse Group’s latest Safer Sex event endeavor “FashionEastah’.

On Thursday, April 19th 2012 the men of Impulse along with Patrick DiLascia, owner and designer of the chic men’s clothing Boutique Par-La, opened his doors to host Impulse Group’s latest mixer. The event was complete with sexy boy Easter Bunnies passing out condoms while guests mixed, mingled & munched on delicious bites throughout the night. The men of Impulse decked out in Spring pastels promoted their safe sex advocacy program “Wrap It Up” as well as engage guests about the state of gay men’s health issues within the community.

More than 200 guest made their way into the event enjoying a relaxed evening with friends and at prime time, guest speaker Albert Ruiz from the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, addressed the attentive crowds on the importance of getting tested and listed off several locations that offer free HIV services only minutes away; all the while a Rapid HIV testing van (a staple at all of “Impulse Presents” events) stood parked right out front of the store all night offering free testing to anyone in need.

The venue was not only fully decked out with Easter themes, but also with HIV information & statistics for guest to take in and begin conversations with one another. Impulse Group as an organization has 3 objectives…

1) Protection:
To reduce HIV infections by 25% in Gay men of Los Angeles within five years.
The current rate of infection in LA is about 2000 per year, so 10,000 will be infected in a 5 year period (10,000)
West Hollywood and Hollywood make up 40% of those cases (4,000)
Gay men make up 80% of those cases (3,200)
Men under 40 years old make up 60% of those cases (1,920)
25 percent of that is the number of people they need PREVENT FROM GETTING HIV in the next 4 years.(480)

2) Awareness:
To reduce in HIV positive men who do not know it by 30% in five years. Up to Jan 2011 42,400 people in LA Country were diagnosed with HIV.
The current rate of infection is about 2000 per year, so 10,000 will be infected in a 5 year period. (52,400).
West Hollywood and Hollywood make up 40% of those cases. (20,960)
Gay men make up 80% of those cases. (16,768)
Men under 40 years old make up 60% of those cases. (10,060)
If 1 of every 4 people do not know they are infected, that number is (3,353) 30 percent of that is the number of people we need to get tested in the next 4 years.(1,006)

3) Community: To create community driven events that encourage a healthy atmosphere & lifestyle meanwhile recreating the gay brotherhood, sense of support and community that ceases to exist within the gay scene. that was highly present during the 1980’s.

These statistic are real and Impulse aims to makes these objectives a reality. With this event, Impulse Group is on trend with the successful mixers the group has had within the past year. As they succeeded, the more the group will continue to host events like this. Events like these serve as an opportunity for Impulse to spread their message to the gay demographic outside of the typical bar & nightclub scenes. This allows their messages to be intimately and clearly heard.

For more information visit htttp://impulsegrp.org

Written by Christian Arenas & Kyle Marchand of Impulse Group

Gay Terms and Meanings. Funny but true!

15 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by Kyle Marchand in Gays Please, The Writing on the Wall

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Funny, Gay, LGBT slang, Men who have sex with men, Terms, United States, Vocabulary

Gay Terms and Meanings. funny but true

Afterhours – where you go when the bars are closed, and you still haven’t found someone to sleep with (or you’re not high enough)

Baggage – the excuse people use to punish their current boyfriend for things that their past boyfriends have done to them

Beefy – a well built guy lacking muscular definition, but nonetheless attractive and appealing. see Jock

BiCurious – gay

Bisexual – gay

Bitter – what all gay men are destined to become. Caused by drama, stress and age (see below).

Boo –  someone you had a one night stand with that actually developed into a friendship.

Bottom – sexual position preferred by 95% of the gay population

Bitch- usually means hold up. Typically prefixes another phrase such as Please or I am from Chicago. ( see Bitch-Please.)

Bitch-Please- means no.

B-yotch – what some white gay men consider a much cooler way of saying “bitch”. umm Bitch please! 

Butch – what gay men who don’t think they act gay call themselves. Actual butch men will never need to use this term.

Cray- Crazy or Fun

Coke – 1) Soft drink beverage most gay men mix with rum, whiskey, or vodka (only when really drunk). 2) Illegal narcotic imported from Columbia but illegal in the United States; gay man’s favorite.

Cuddle – sexual activity in which there is no exchange of bodily fluid. in many cases kissing fondling and dry grinding ensues. wait, is saliva body fluid? 

Drama – an imaginary condition made up by sad, lonely individuals with no real problems in their life who feel the need to drag stabile, well-balanced individuals who are trying to make a valuable contribution to society down to their level in hopes of making themselves feel better. Or in many cases; that bitch stole my man! 

Ex – 1) anyone you’ve slept with more than once. (see x)

Excedrin – what every gay man should have in his medicine cabinet 

Fag – A slight term of endearment from gay to gay. When said by a Breeder… See faggot)

Faggot – bitch what did you call me?

Foam – not sure anymore, as we haven’t seen it in over a year. No girl, yes we did on our plate at SUR! 

Forward – the geographical direction in front of you. ex: “Go forward.” not: “Go straight.”  Or in many ways gay male sexual advances.

Gaylights – an unnatural highlighting of the hair that no straight man would be caught dead with.

Gurl – the first word of every sentence. “Gurl, you ’bout ready to go?”,

“Gurl, I haven’t had sex in 3 days!”

GUUURL – said in a slow deep tone. a dramatic gay way of say Woooooh!  Usually means oh no!

Gym Bunny – a troll who has realized that his only chance of getting laid is to work out every day.

Hayyy – a greeting. The gayer you are, the more Y’s you put at the end.

Hoe – see Whore

Homewrecker – the person who stole your ex 

Homo – softer way of saying gay 

Issues – see Baggage

Jacked — term used to describe the ugly attributes of another person. 

Jock – a well built, athletic looking gay guy with attractive, masculine qualities.

Jockular – see Jock

LIGHT Beer – for gay men who are not afraid of that a brown bottle clashing with what they’re wearing, BUT CARE ABOUT calorie intake. We drink them!

Mullet – hairstyle utilized by lesbians to make themselves easily identifiable to other lesbians. GAY MEN DONT ROCK THESE!

Midol- Necessary for any gay man to have AROUND for yo crazy-ass-bitch, fag-hag-a-hoe that you love but wish you could drop kick a bitch sometime!

Muscle Boy – 1) a well built guy commonly synonymous with clubbing, dancing all night, narcotic consuming, while leading a narcissitic and shallow existence. 2) see Beefy; Jock

Nellie – 1) Harriet Olsen’s daughter on Little House on the Prarie 2) nickname for the Loch Ness monster 3) not butch  (see nellie bottom)

Nellie Bottom- Super gay bottom not to be confused with power bottom

Omaha Diet – unnatural weight loss caused by non-prescription medications. Also known as Jenny Crank.

One Night Stand – a very short-term relationship, the end of which is signified by someone putting on their pants and in many cases leaving with out underwear or socks.

RedBull – also known as a VodkaRedBull A gay fav – most gay men ask for sugar free redull in their drinks but end up with sugar free monster.

Philson Sex – sexual activity in which everybody wants to get off, but nobody does. Enables you to have a one night stand without actually becoming classified as a whore, yet still significantly more intensive than cuddling.

Power Bottom – An eager (vocal) gay bottom who will take control in the bed in order to satisfy himself and his partner.

Power Dyke – 1) a successful and wealthy lesbian 2) a lesbian with who hates both straight and gay men. They terrify the shit out of gay and straight men. 

Rough Night – a one night stand that you will later pretend never happened.

Shot – when you need to get drunker faster or what you get in the butt on discharge monday.

Stress – an non-imaginary condition brought on by the drama of others

Top – do they exist anymore?  see Bottom 

Trade- what you bring home from the bar, paid for in services rendered.

Troll – anyone older than you that wants you to gohome with them.

Trick – see Trade

Twink – a young gay boy with no muscular, or sinewy, build whatsoever, rarely eats, and perhaps consumes narcotics to maintain his petite “physique.” Resembles an emaciated supermodel.

Twit – anyone younger than you that won’t go home with you.

Twelve – how old you are if you’re not 21

Unemployment – what most gays coolant however stay they are self employed which they have to list as their current occupation on job applications because we are all entrepreneurs or striving become the next big thing. 

Universe 1) the area of space contained within a 3 foot diameter of every gay man. 2) a club no longer open in San Francisco where muscle boys reigned and danced with Betty Crank into the wee hours of the morning.

Versatile – glorified Bottom (but will top if absolutely necessary)

White Party diet – usually consist of eating nothing… (maybe protein and celery)  Alcohol acceptable.

WERK!- This usually means that a gay has just done something fabulous. or is giving Face! Face! face!
Whore – anyone who has more sex than you
WOOF!- a phrase many white gay men with facial hair and possibly love leather would use. it means you’re a sexy ass man!

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