Gay Terms and Meanings. funny but true
Afterhours – where you go when the bars are closed, and you still haven’t found someone to sleep with (or you’re not high enough)
Baggage – the excuse people use to punish their current boyfriend for things that their past boyfriends have done to them
Beefy – a well built guy lacking muscular definition, but nonetheless attractive and appealing. see Jock
BiCurious – gay
Bisexual – gay
Bitter – what all gay men are destined to become. Caused by drama, stress and age (see below).
Boo – someone you had a one night stand with that actually developed into a friendship.
Bottom – sexual position preferred by 95% of the gay population
Bitch- usually means hold up. Typically prefixes another phrase such as Please or I am from Chicago. ( see Bitch-Please.)
Bitch-Please- means no.
B-yotch – what some white gay men consider a much cooler way of saying “bitch”. umm Bitch please!
Butch – what gay men who don’t think they act gay call themselves. Actual butch men will never need to use this term.
Cray- Crazy or Fun
Coke – 1) Soft drink beverage most gay men mix with rum, whiskey, or vodka (only when really drunk). 2) Illegal narcotic imported from Columbia but illegal in the United States; gay man’s favorite.
Cuddle – sexual activity in which there is no exchange of bodily fluid. in many cases kissing fondling and dry grinding ensues. wait, is saliva body fluid?
Drama – an imaginary condition made up by sad, lonely individuals with no real problems in their life who feel the need to drag stabile, well-balanced individuals who are trying to make a valuable contribution to society down to their level in hopes of making themselves feel better. Or in many cases; that bitch stole my man!
Ex – 1) anyone you’ve slept with more than once. (see x)
Excedrin – what every gay man should have in his medicine cabinet
Fag – A slight term of endearment from gay to gay. When said by a Breeder… See faggot)
Faggot – bitch what did you call me?
Foam – not sure anymore, as we haven’t seen it in over a year. No girl, yes we did on our plate at SUR!
Forward – the geographical direction in front of you. ex: “Go forward.” not: “Go straight.” Or in many ways gay male sexual advances.
Gaylights – an unnatural highlighting of the hair that no straight man would be caught dead with.
Gurl – the first word of every sentence. “Gurl, you ’bout ready to go?”,
“Gurl, I haven’t had sex in 3 days!”
GUUURL – said in a slow deep tone. a dramatic gay way of say Woooooh! Usually means oh no!
Gym Bunny – a troll who has realized that his only chance of getting laid is to work out every day.
Hayyy – a greeting. The gayer you are, the more Y’s you put at the end.
Hoe – see Whore
Homewrecker – the person who stole your ex
Homo – softer way of saying gay
Issues – see Baggage
Jacked — term used to describe the ugly attributes of another person.
Jock – a well built, athletic looking gay guy with attractive, masculine qualities.
Jockular – see Jock
LIGHT Beer – for gay men who are not afraid of that a brown bottle clashing with what they’re wearing, BUT CARE ABOUT calorie intake. We drink them!
Mullet – hairstyle utilized by lesbians to make themselves easily identifiable to other lesbians. GAY MEN DONT ROCK THESE!
Midol- Necessary for any gay man to have AROUND for yo crazy-ass-bitch, fag-hag-a-hoe that you love but wish you could drop kick a bitch sometime!
Muscle Boy – 1) a well built guy commonly synonymous with clubbing, dancing all night, narcotic consuming, while leading a narcissitic and shallow existence. 2) see Beefy; Jock
Nellie – 1) Harriet Olsen’s daughter on Little House on the Prarie 2) nickname for the Loch Ness monster 3) not butch (see nellie bottom)
Nellie Bottom- Super gay bottom not to be confused with power bottom
Omaha Diet – unnatural weight loss caused by non-prescription medications. Also known as Jenny Crank.
One Night Stand – a very short-term relationship, the end of which is signified by someone putting on their pants and in many cases leaving with out underwear or socks.
RedBull – also known as a VodkaRedBull A gay fav – most gay men ask for sugar free redull in their drinks but end up with sugar free monster.
Philson Sex – sexual activity in which everybody wants to get off, but nobody does. Enables you to have a one night stand without actually becoming classified as a whore, yet still significantly more intensive than cuddling.
Power Bottom – An eager (vocal) gay bottom who will take control in the bed in order to satisfy himself and his partner.
Power Dyke – 1) a successful and wealthy lesbian 2) a lesbian with who hates both straight and gay men. They terrify the shit out of gay and straight men.
Rough Night – a one night stand that you will later pretend never happened.
Shot – when you need to get drunker faster or what you get in the butt on discharge monday.
Stress – an non-imaginary condition brought on by the drama of others
Top – do they exist anymore? see Bottom
Trade- what you bring home from the bar, paid for in services rendered.
Troll – anyone older than you that wants you to gohome with them.
Trick – see Trade
Twink – a young gay boy with no muscular, or sinewy, build whatsoever, rarely eats, and perhaps consumes narcotics to maintain his petite “physique.” Resembles an emaciated supermodel.
Twit – anyone younger than you that won’t go home with you.
Twelve – how old you are if you’re not 21
Unemployment – what most gays coolant however stay they are self employed which they have to list as their current occupation on job applications because we are all entrepreneurs or striving become the next big thing.
Universe 1) the area of space contained within a 3 foot diameter of every gay man. 2) a club no longer open in San Francisco where muscle boys reigned and danced with Betty Crank into the wee hours of the morning.
Versatile – glorified Bottom (but will top if absolutely necessary)
White Party diet – usually consist of eating nothing… (maybe protein and celery) Alcohol acceptable.
WERK!- This usually means that a gay has just done something fabulous. or is giving Face! Face! face!
Whore – anyone who has more sex than you
WOOF!- a phrase many white gay men with facial hair and possibly love leather would use. it means you’re a sexy ass man!